THREE OH SIX
by SANDEFUR
Summary: My imaginary third season continues. Sequel to #305.


THREE OH SIX

by SANDEFUR

10-1-05/Saturday morning.

On the restaurant terrace of the exclusive Wentworth Hotel, Ryan Hunter and his nephew Dylan are enjoying a lavish breakfast. They chat amiably while nearby, Joan peeks through some bushes, watching their every move.

"Isn't it a little early in the morning for stalking?"

Joan gives a little jump of startlement. She turns her head and recognizes Rich Lady God. Joan puts a finger to her lips.

"Shh. I don't want them to hear me."

"How long do you think you can stand there before someone notices you? What explanation could you give for this behavior?"

"I'm trying to find out what Ryan is up to."

"He's having breakfast with Dylan, and is congratulating the boy on having made the basketball team."

"Dylan called and told me last night. He made third string."

"Due to his injuries, which are healing fast. He will be first string by the time the season starts."

"He will? That's great."

"Now come away from there before Ryan gives you away to Dylan."

Rich Lady God walks away and Joan reluctantly follows.

"It's not like Ryan knew I was there."

"Of course he knew. He spotted you the moment you began tailing them in your mother's car."

"He did? Then why didn't he tell Dylan?"

"He was too amused by your amateurish detective efforts. If Dylan had noticed you, what would you have said to him?"

"I-I guess the truth."

"The truth, as Dylan knows it, is that Ryan Hunter is the most popular and influential man in town. He is proud of his uncle, and has earnestly thrown himself into the role of peacemaker between John and Ryan Hunter."

"You're saying he wouldn't believe me?"

"Your own parents don't believe you. What chance is there that a boy you've only known a few weeks would take your unsubstantiated word over the prevailing opinon of an entire city?"

Joan sighs. "None. Maybe my relationship with Dylan is a mistake."

"On the contrary, you should cultivate the relationship. It gives you an avenue of access into Ryan's inner realm."

"Like I'm some Mata Hari? I don't want to use him to spy on his uncle. I really like Dylan."

"Which will make your job a lot easier. Try looking at it this way, if you aren't there to counter balance Ryan's influence, then Dylan could be led into a life of error and compromise."

"But Dylan is a really good and devout person."

"Temptation that comes from a trusted source can overwhelm even the most devout. Now you should head home before your mother starts to worry."

"Yeah, except how do I explain why I took off with her car so early on a Saturday morning?"

"There's a small bakery near where you parked. They make marvelous cinnamon croissants. Buy some. That will provide your excuse."

"No one in my house really cares for cinnamon."

"Buy some."

Rich Lady God heads into the hotel, giving the backhand wave as she goes.

Joan murmurs, "Oh sure, 'Mom, I can explain. I went to buy a type of pastry none of us likes.' Yeah, that'll work."

Joan kicks the ground and strides away.

X X X X X

Meanwhile in a nearby city park, Glynis and Adam are sitting on a bench, sipping coffee. They awkwardly avoid eye contact.

Glynis says, "A lovely morning. So crisp and clear."

Adam responds, "Yeah, crisp."

Another awkward pause.

Adam blurts out, "Do you hate me?"

"Adam, no, of course not."

"It's just that you trusted me to behave in a professional manner while you were posing for me."

"And technically, you did. It wasn't until the painting was done and we were admiring it, and I said we should celebrate, that you…"

"Pounced on you like a wild animal?"

"Well yes, but even though your 'pouncing' was a little surprising, I quickly and fully responded. I'm embarassed to admit this, but for many days I've had erotic fantasies similar to last night."

"You too? I was going crazy thinking about you, and wanting you."

"I have to admit to not only…lustfullness, but also a growing fondness and attraction for you. Which brings us to the question: What next?"

"What do you mean?"

"As I see it, we have three options. One, we can decide last night was a mistake. A momentary madness due to rampant hormones. Two, we can decide to begin a brief, no strings attached, affair--because the sex was so good. It was good, wan't it?"

"Oh yeah. Glynis, I don't have a lot of experience, but last night was amazing. You were wonderful."

Glynis smiles. "Thank you. I too was very pleased."

"So what's number three?"

"We try to develop an actual relationship."

"You…want to be my girlfriend?"

Glynis blushes. "I've gone out this far on the emotional limb, I might as well go all the way. Yes, I'd like to be your girlfriend. I realize we have nothing in common…"

"Unchallenged."

"But in my experience, commonalities are not an indicator of relationship success. So what do you say? I the scientist and you the artist, could we make it work?"

"Glynis, I think you're great in so many ways. I'd really like to give us a try."

They both smile and begin to kiss—tenderly at first, and then with growing passion. Eventually, they separate.

Adam softly says, "Joan…"

"What?? I ought to slap your face!"

"Glynis, no. I mean Joan is watching us."

Glynis turns around and sees Joan standing by her car with a pastry box in her hands. Astonished, Joan's mouth hangs open. After a moment, Joan recovers from her shock and reluctantly walks over to the pair on the bench.

Joan croaks out, "Good morning."

"Are you spying on us, Joan?" Glynis asks.

"What? God no. This was totally an accident. I was just getting pastries at the bakery across the street." (Joan shows them the pastry box.) "So, you two are now, um, a couple?"

Glynis nods. "Yes, recently."

Adam smiles. "Very recently."

Adam and Glynis exchange a glance and blush.

Adam asks, "This isn't a problem for you Joan, is it?"

"No, of course not. We're just friends now, right? I hope the two of you will be…very happy."

Glynis says, "Thank you Joan, that's very nice of you."

"Yeah, that's me. As nice as nice can be. I, uh, have to be going now, so…bye."

Adam says, with just a hint of saddness, "Goodbye Joan."

Joan turns and walks back to the car. As she does, she wipes a single tear from her cheek.

X X X X X

Back at the restaurant terrace…

"Wow, I couldn't eat another bite."

Ryan is clearly amused. "I had forgotten what a bottomless pit a 17 year old boy can be."

"Well, the food was really great. Thanks Uncle Ryan."

"My pleasure. We had to do something to celebrate your accomplishment."

"Third string isn't much of an accomplishment."

"Nonsense. You were playing injured. You'll be first string in no time. If not, your uncle the school board member will start making phone calls."

Dylan is horrified. "You wouldn't!"

Ryan laughs. "Of course not. It's just fun, sometimes, to say things like that."

"Oh, I get it. That's quite a sense of humor you've got. So, Uncle, will you be coming to any of my games?"

"Probably not."

"Because my Dad will be there?"

"Dylan, you know how it is between us."

"Yeah, yeah, I've been hearing it for weeks. Bitter divorce, hurt feelings, blah-blah-blah. Look, Uncle Ryan, I'd really like it if you were at my games. It's not like I'm asking you to sit side by side with Dad, sharing a box of popcorn. Sit on opposite sides of the gym if you must."

"It means that much to you?"

"It really does."

"Okay, for you I'll give it a try. But if your dad comes near me…"

"What?"

Ryan smiles. "I won't share my popcorn."

Dylan laughs.

Ryan coninues. "So, other than sports, how are you doing at Arcadia High?"

"Not bad. My grades are pretty good, and I've been making friends."

"Including a girlfriend? Maybe a pretty cheerleader?"

"No thanks, I've had the cheerleader/girlfriend relationship. These days I'm concentrating on the cute girl next door."

"The Girardi girl?"

"Yeah, Joan is amazing. Sometimes, she is all I can think about."

"Dylan, are you sure about this? I understand about teenage hormones, but nephew, banging the daughter of the chief of police may not be the smartest move you've ever made."

"First, I'm not 'banging' anybody, and what have you got against Joan?"

"Nothing. I barely know the girl. I do know that most teen romances end, and usually very badly. It may seem romantic and fun dating the girl next door, but if the relationship goes sour, you're stuck running into her on a daily basis."

"Okay, I get what you're saying, and logically, it makes sense. But, I can't begin a relationship with the thought of how it will end."

"You think I'm cynical, but life teaches you to be careful."

"But I haven't had those experiences yet, and I guess we all have to take our turn at risking ourselves in relationships. Besides, I couldn't back out now even if I wanted to."

"Why not?"

"Because…I love her."

Ryan snorts derisively. "That's not love, that's hormones. Teenagers confuse the two all the time."

"I understand what you are saying, Uncle Ryan, but you are wrong. Sure, I've only known Joan for a few weeks, but I've been in love with her from the first moment I saw her. Which is weird, because I yelled at her the first time we met. You know, even while I was yelling at her, I could hear myself ask in the back of my mind: Why are you yelling at the girl you love?"

"You just proved my point. Love at first sight is a myth. It's a combination of attraction and lust that people romanticize. How did she react when you told her?"

"I haven't. I don't want her to think I'm some kind of nut, so I'm going to hold off saying that to her. I'll take things slow, and in time, she will hopefully learn to love me."

"Oh nephew, I wish you could see things from my perspective. It would save you a lot of pain."

The maitre'd approaches. "Pardon me, Mr. Hunter, but your limousine has arived."

"Thank you, Franz. Everything was wondeful, as usual."

"Always a pleasure, sir."

The maitre'd strolls away. Ryan and Dylan prepare to leave.

"Dylan, if you could wait in the limo, there's an old acquaintance over there that I must say hello to."

"Sure thing, Uncle Ryan."

Dylan exits and Ryan walks over to a table where Rich Lady God sits reading a menu.

Ryan demands, "Did you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Put that thought in Dylan's head. 'Why are you yelling at the girl you love'."

"The feelings between Dylan and Joan are entirely genuine—no matter how they started."

"Do you expect me to go easy on the girl because I know Dylan is involved?"

"I expect you to be true to your nature."

"It won't work. I'm fighting this battle to win, no matter what the casulties."

"That's easy to say before the battle, but every general—and I've known them all—regrets his losses afterwards."

Ryan motions for the maitre'd. "Put this lady's bill on my tab. I recommend the truffle omelet. It's to die for."

Ryan smiles and saunters away.

X X X X X

New York City. Also that morning in the Waters family's luxurious condc, Ralph and Vivian Waters are at breakfast. Lily enters and joins them. A maid pours her coffee. Ralph lowers his newpaper and smiles at his eldest daughter.

"Good morning Sunshine. I understand this is your last day with us?"

"Yeah Dad, it has been great catching up with everyone, but I've got to get back to my life in Arcadia."

Vivian asks, "Back to your Kevin?"

"Yes, I really miss him. But I also have a job waiting."

"Doing outreach programs for the church?" Ralph asks.

"Yeah, it doen't pay much, but it's important work that helps a lot of people."

"Of course. Lily, we wanted to raise a delicate subject."

Vivian adds, "Involving your marriage."

"We don't want to offend..."

"Don't worry, Dad. It will be a real marriage. Kevin is fully functional."

"What? Good Lord, I wasn't talking about that!"

Vivian whispers, "I already had that discussion with your father. You remember that, Ralph?"

"I could hardly forget. No Lily, what we wanted to talk about is finances. How are you fixed for money?"

"Money is tight, but that's okay. I'm use to a minimalist lifestyle."

Vivian says, "But you're not a nun any more. That vow of poverty thing no longer applies."

"And since you left the convent to start a regular life, we wanted to get you off to a good start."

"What are you guys up to?"

"When your three sisters got married, we gave each of them a financial boost for their new lives. We know you are only engaged, but under the circumstances, your mother and I thought we would pass this along early."

Ralph hands Lily an envelope. She removes a check and gasps.

"Holy crap! Fifty thousand dollars?"

Vivian says, "I know it may seem like a lot dear, but begining a new life is expensive. This way you can plan a nice wedding, a honeymoon, plus wardrobe and furniture for your first apartment."

"And when you need more, we will be glad to kick in extra."

"More? My mind is still blown by this check. When I showed up here, I wasn't certain how welcomed I'd be after all these years. You've been so kind and forgiving--it was overwhelming. Far more than I expected or deserved."

"Lily dear, we've been through all of this. Ten years is a long time, and we have all changed, hopefully for the better. We are just glad to have our daughter back."

Lily wipes a tear from her eye. "Wow, you guys have been great, so I hope you can understand. I can't accept this check."

"Why not?" Ralph asks.

"Dad, when Kevin had his accident, he wasn't just injured physically. Psychologically, he had all sense of being a man stripped away from him. It's been a long, hard strugle for him to regain the ground he lost. Holding a job and being able to provide for a family are important steps for him. If I show up waving a big check from my wealthy family, it would wound him."

Vivian says, "But dear, when your family has so much, surely he would expect us to help out."

"I never told him you guys are rich. It has been years since I thought that way, and it never occured to me to tell him."

Ralph says, "I think I understand, but Lily, aren't you selling your guy short? When a man provides for a family, he always puts their needs first. Everything else, including his pride, is secondary. Able-bodied or handicapped, that is the choice a man makes."

"I...just don't know."

"Take the check, and sound Kevin out about it. If it's too big a blow for him to handle, then tear it up. But at least give him the option, the same as if he were standing before you."

"Okay, I'll do it, and thank you both. Now all we have to do is break the news to his family."

Vivian laughs, "And plan a wedding!"

X X X X X

Back in Arcadia, Joan has just parked in front of her house and is getting out of the car. She notices a taxi pull up behind her. Exiting the cab is Marcus Brodie, a white-haired, vigorous man of 70 years.

"Grandpa!"

"Joanie!"

The two rush together and embrace.

"It's so good to see you."

"You too, Joanie. My word, you've grown into a real beauty."

"Aww, go on. No seriously, go on."

Marcus laughs and hugs Joan again. He hands the cab driver some money, and the taxi pulls away.

"What are you doing in Arcadia?"

"I came to celebrate my birthday with my favorite granddaughter."

"I'm your only granddaughter, and I wish you had told us you were coming. We've already mailed off your presents and cards."

"And they'll be waiting when I get back, but I wanted to spend time with my family. So, on the spur of the moment, I hopped a plane for Arcadia."

"I'm so glad you did. We haven't celebrated together on your birthday since we moved to Arcadia."

"Then we can make up for lost time. Say, what's in the box that smells so good?"

"Cinnamon croissants."

"My favorites!"

"Since when?"

"The last few months--ever since a friend introduced them to me."

Marcus, carrying a suitcase, walks with Joan towards the front door. As they approach, Helen appears.

"Dad? Oh my God, it really is you!"

Helen and Marcus share a hug.

"Helen, dear girl, can you put up an old timer for a couple of days?"

"What old timer? I only see Marcus Brodie, the most vigorous man I know."

"Aren't you sweet? But we have to face facts, I'm hitting the big seven-oh tomorrow."

"Well, seventy is the new sixty."

"I like the way you think."

"I wish I had known you were coming, Dad. We could have prepared a celebration."

"I've gone over this with Joanie. It was a spur of the moment decision. I've spent my last two birthdays with your sister and her brood, and I rsalized I had to visit the Girardi side of the family this year."

"Speaking of 'Joanie,' where did you disappear to at practically the crack of dawn?"

"I went to get Grandpa's favorite pastry."

"You knew he was coming?"

"No, it was just a coincidence. Freaky, huh?"

"Very odd."

"Why Helen, the girl must be psychic, just like your mother always claimed to be."

"Maybe she was."

"Oh don't start that again."

The happy group enters the house.

X X X X X

Later, at midday, the family's Volvo station wagon travels the streets of Arcadia. Luke is driving, Marcus is beside him, and Joan is in the back seat.

"Have you decided on a college yet, Luke?"

"Well, M.I.T. is my first choice, but there may be a problem there. When I told Grace about it, all she had to say was: Isn't that where Glynis is going?"

"Wait, fill me in. I know Grace is your girlfriend, but who is this Glynis?"

"My ex-girlfriend. We dated for like a month my sophmore year, but Grace won't let it go."

"You haven't given her any reason to be suspicious, have you?"

"Cheat on Grace? Never. The survivability factor is way too low. Besides, I love her."

Joan comments, "Grace can give up on her jealousy. Glynis has definitely moved on. She and Adam are a couple now."

"How do you know?"

Joan shudders. "Trust me, I know."

Marcus asks, "Is this Adam the same one you were dating last year?"

"The same one."

"So your ex-boyfriend and Luke's ex-girlfriend are now a couple? This Arcadia High sounds more like Peyton Place."

"I don't know what that means."

"Peyton Place was a scandalous book that was later made into a movie and a television soap opera. Maybe they have a copy in the bookstore we are headed to."

"Are you sure you want to spend the day with me at the bookstore?"

"Spending a leisurely afternoon at a bookstore is one of my favorite activities. Add the company of my lovely granddaughter, what man could ask for more?"

"And besides, Kevin and Dad had to work, Mom had an errand and Brain-Boy has a hot date."

"Is that true, 'Brain-Boy'? Is it a particularly hot date?"

"No Grandpa. Grace and I are just going to study our AP Biology homework."

Joan scoffs, "Because they just can't get enough 'biology'."

"Cut it out, Joan."

"You know, I think I'd like to meet this Grace of yours. Invite her to my birthday dinner."

"Grace isn't much for family gatherings."

"Indulge an old man."

Luke sighs. "Okay, I'll ask. And since we are asking dates, why doesn't Joan ask her boyfriend?"

"What's this? You have a new boyfriend?"

"I wouldn't say he's offically my boyfriend. We've only been hanging out for a short time."

"Nonetheless, I'd like to meet him, if it's not too inconvenient."

Luke says, "Oh, it's not inconvenient. His name is Dylan Hunter, and he lives right next door."

Joan mutters, "Thanks a lot, Luke."

Luke smiles. "Tit for tat, big sister."

X X X X X

Meanwhile, downtown in Ryan's office, he and Kevin are in conference.

"You were right, Dr. Hunter flatly refused an interview. It's like he'd rather no one knew he saved the lives of several people, including my Dad."

"We Hunter men have always been a modest bunch."

"That's true. When you saved Adam Rove's life, you wouldn't let your involvement be mentioned."

"Did dear brother John give a reason for his modesty?"

"Off the record, he said he didn't want to embarass a professional colleague over what had been a lucky guess."

"Lucky guess? A criminal psychologist who had complete access to police records failed to forsee the possibility of explosives in his suspect profile. Meanwhile, Dr. John Hunter, a child psychiatrist, gleans it from newpaper accounts? And, he is so sure, he puts his professional reputation on the line in front of the chief of police?"

"Her now claims he was caught up in the drama of the moment, but thank God he was. If he hadn't insisted on the bomb squad being called, my Dad would be dead."

"I am at least grateful to John for that. The friendship I've formed with your parents means a lot to me."

"I know they always speak highly of you."

"I'm flattered, and I look forward to seeing them tonight at the portrait unveiling. You are coming?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, but first, I have another story I have to get back to."

"And I have some party details to go over with the staff."

Ryan walks Kevin to the door and opens it for him. Just approaching is a startled Helen, who is carrying the wrapped portrait.

"Oh! Kevin. Ryan. I didn't expect to find anyone here on a Saturday."

"The Arcadia Herald never sleeps, Mom."

"Of course, and here I thought I could just slip in and out undetected."

"No such luck. Well, gotta go."

Kevin starts to roll away.

"Do you have to rush off?"

Kevin calls back over his shoulder, "Duty calls."

Ryan says, "Here Helen, let me help you with that."

Ryan carries the portrait to an already set-up stand. Reluctantly, Helen follows.

"Would you like a cup of coffee?"

"I can't stay. Your secretary said you were never here on Saturdays."

"Don't fault the loyal Mrs. Burke, normally that's true. Today, however, I had some party plans I needed to go over with the staff. The portrait will be here for the unveiling, and will be hung in the lobby next week. Will you help me unwrap it?"

"I-I really can't stay."

"You seem unusually nervous. You're not concerned about tonight's unveiling are you?"

"A little. These types of events are always trying for an artist."

Ryan puts a comforting hand on Helen's shoulder. "Everyone will love it."

Helen pulls away from Ryan's touch.

"Helen?"

"I'm...sorry." Helen says as she rushes to the door.

"You've heard the rumors."

Helen hesitates and then turns to face him. "What rumors?"

"That you and I are involved. People all over the building are whispering it."

"Oh God, not this too. I thought it was old-fashioned and charming of you to insist on a chaperone during our posing sessions, but now I see why. I just hope Will doesn't find out."

"Will knows. He confronted me about it days ago. I must admit, it's unnerving to have the chief of police ask if you're having an affair with his wife."

Helen sits in a chair, her expression one of disbelief. "I don't understand. Why didn't Will bring this to me?"

"Because he was pulling my leg. Will didn't believe those rumors for a single moment. He trusts me as a friend, and more importantly, he utterly trusts you as his wife. I'm just sorry that the small-minded people around here have caused you this embarassment."

Helen wipes a single tear fom her cheek. "No more than I deserve."

Helen rises and goes to the door. Her hand is on the knob when Ryan's voice causes her to pause.

"Wait, if you didn't know about the rumor, why were you so nervous? Why were you trying to avoid me? Have I done something to offend you?"

"I can't face you and say this. Please don't tell anyone, but I've come to realize that...I have a crush on you."

"Oh. Helen, did I do anything..."

"No, of course not. You were just young and charming and handsome, and I'm a middle-aged woman who fell into a foolish fantasy. Now I'm sorry that I've embarassed you."

"Don't be silly. We're both adults and we know these momentary infatuations occur. That's all they are--a foolish moment that always fades away. In time you will look back on this and laugh."

Helen turns to face Ryan. "You're right of course, but until then, I want to keep my distance."

"I understand. Just promise me you won't let this ruin our friendship."

"I promise, but from now on, when we meet, it will be in the presence of my husband." (Helen opens the door and is about to exit when she pauses one last time.) "You'd be so much easier to get over if you weren't such a good guy."

Helen quickly leaves. After a moment's pause, Ryan laughs.

X X X X X

Later that afternoon at Skylight Books, Joan is at the cashier's stand while Marcus is in a comfortable chair reading 'Peyton Place'. A beefy looking tough guy enters. He is know to Joan as 'Sensitive God'.

"I'm looking for a book by Grace Metalious."

"If you mean Peyton Place, I sold our only copy to that gentleman." (Whispers.) "Which you already know."

"Your grandfather seems absorbed in the book."

"He's been reading it for a solid hour, which is kinda creepy. Isn't it suppose to be a dirty book?"

"When it was released in 1956, it was considered quite salacious. Many communities banned it from their libraries."

"Is that why it's synonomous with sex scandals?"

"Sadly, people's memories are selective. They remember the titilatting parts while forgetting the main themes of the book, which are about injustice and intolerance. Judgement without mercy. However, in the end, the people of Peyton Place are redeemed by simple acts of compassion."

"Wow, you make it sound like literature instead of a sleazy novel."

"As with most things, it is a matter of perspective. As is the surprise your grandfather has for you."

"A gift?"

"An opportunity for a different perspective."

A grey-haired man in his sixties enters the store. He spots Marcus and heads towards him. Sensitive God smiles broadly and exits--giving the 'wave' as he goes.

"Reading sexy books in the middle of the day? Is that anyway for a distinguished member of the bar to behave?"

Marcus looks up and smiles warmly. He stands and shakes hand with his friend.

"Sam Bryant, it's good to see you again. God, you've gotten old."

"Look who's talking. So, how's retirement, Marcus?"

"Semi-retirement. I still get into the office one or two days a week. Some of our older, richer clients won't accept anyone but the senior partner. What about you? Still churning out a new crop of mediocre lawyers every year?"

"The demand for them never seems to decline."

"Come, I want you to meet the prescious star of my life."

Marcus leads Sam over to Joan.

"Joanie, I'd like you to meet one of my oldest friends, Samuel Bryant. Sam, my granddaughter, Joan Girardi."

"Glad to meet you Joan."

"You too sir. It's nice that Grandpa can meet up with an old friend during his visit."

"Well of course I'm glad to see Marcus again, but I'm actually here with an ulterior motive."

"You see Joanie, Sam is the dean of the school of law at Arcadia college."

"And your grandfather mentioned you hadn't picked a college yet. Have you considered Arcadia College?"

"Frankly, no sir, I haven't."

"Why not? It may not have the prestige of the ivy league, but Arcadia is a good school with a solid record of academic achievement."

"Oh, I know it's a good school. It's just whenever I thought of college, it was in terms of going AWAY to college."

Marcus says, "Lots of advantages to going to a school in your home town, Joanie. You avoid the loneliness of being in a new city, you keep in touch with family and friends, and you'll save your parents a ton of money."

"I guess that makes sense, but I'm not sure my grades are good enough to get me in."

Sam asks, "What sort of grades are we talking about?"

"If I keep my head on straight the rest of senior year, I'll graduate with a 'B minus' average."

"A little on the low end, but still acceptable. Especially, if you have a letter of recomendation from the dean of the school of law."

"Which Sam is willing to do for the granddaughter of an old friend. Of course, that would only make sense if you were to declare your major to be pre-law."

Joan smiles. "Oh, I get it. This is your attempt to get one of us to follow in your footsteps."

"And why not? I've had a good life as a lawyer. Two daughters and four grandsons later, not one of them was ever interested in my life's work. You're my last hope, Joanie."

"But what if I don't want to be a lawyer?"

"From what you've told me, you aren't sure what you want to do. Why not give the law a chance?"

"Well, I did do pretty good at mock trial last semester."

Sam says, "And Joan, once you are in the college, you can always change your major if something else interests you more."

"Yeah, there is that. You guys really make this sound appealing. Can I have some time to think it over?"

Marcus smiles. "It's all I ask. Come on Sam, I'm taking you out for a drink, and we can swap lies about what good lawyers we were."

Marcus puts his arm around his friend's shoulder and escorts him out. Joan smiles and pause to contemplate...

"Huh, Joan Girardi, attorney-at-law."

X X X X X

Meanwhile, the Volvo wagon is parked in a lightly wooded, remote area known as Liberty Town. The car is gently rocking, and the windows are steamy. Inside the wagon, the back seat is folded down, and Luke and Grace are on an air matress--naked, but discreetly covered by a blanket. They are side by side, sweaty and exhausted. Luke has his arm around Grace, while she rests her head on his shoulder.

"Dude, are you falling asleep?"

"Tired. It was our third time, Grace. I just need a few minutes rest."

"What is it with guys and falling asleep after sex?"

Luke yawns. "Natural physiological reaction necessary for the survival of the species."

"How so?"

Luke sleepily replies, "Caveman days. Those that left their sex partners rarely had children that survived. Those that fell asleep would bond with their sex partners and were around to provide for and protect their mates during pregnancy."

"Then why are there so many wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am types?"

"Genetic anomalies necessary for Darwinian evolution in a world of unforseen changes."

Grace gently kisses the half asleep Luke. "So you're one of the old-fashioned models?"

"Maintaining the status quo for 50,000 years."

Luke closes his eyes and begins to sleep. Grace nudges him with her elbow. "Are you sure this is the last day of our safety zone?"

"Hmm? Yeah, we agreed. Can't risk getting too close to your date of ovulation, even with precautions."

"But it's two weeks without sex! How can you do without for so long?"

Luke yawns, "Masturbation."

"Well that's fine for you."

"You don't masturbate?"

"No! I tried it once, and I hated it. Whenever I'm touched down there, even by me, it just weirds me out. That's why I always assumed I wouldn't like sex. Man, was I ever wrong."

"It's okay. It gives us time to reconnect with friends, and to study. Remember studying, Grace? I need to maintain an 'A' average if I'm going to get into M.I.T."

"Where Glynis will be."

"Grace, not this again. Besides, I have it on good authority that Glynis has a new boyfriend."

"Says who?"

"Joan. She says Glynis and Adam are a definite couple."

"Figliola and Rove? That can't last. They've got nothing in common."

Luke kisses Grace. "Neither do we, and look how well we turned out."

"You've got a point. I just hope Rove knows what he's getting in to... Luke?"

Luke is now sleeping.

Grace whispers, "Okay, you get your rest, Geek. Cause when you wake up, we're going for one wild ride."

X X X X X

That night at the unveiling party... Furniture has been removed from Ryan's office and serving tables have been set up. A catering staff circulates through a large crowd of city bigwigs, newspaper staff and the entire Girardi family. Dylan is present, and Ryan has a date--the magazine reporter from the last episode. Ryan addresses the crowd...

"Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't mind, we will begin the main event of the evening. I am acutely aware that unveiling a portrait of oneself is an incredible indulgence in vanity. To this I plead guilty, but with extenuating circumstances. First, I must cite the persuasive powers of our director of public relations, Mr. David LeGrand, who wore me down over a period of many months. Secondly, I have, by coincidence, a dear friend who is a very talented artist. I thank her for making the experience far less of an ordeal than I could have imagined. So, without further ado, I present--the portrait."

A couple of staffers, one of whom is Adam, remove the covering cloth. The crowd applauds appreciatively.

Ryan continues, "And now a few words from the artist, Mrs. Helen Girardi."

The crowd applauds again. A reluctant Helen steps forward.

"Um, thank you all very kindly. I'm so glad you like the painting. This is a departure from my usual work, but I must admit to being pleased with how it turned out. My thanks to Ryan Hunter and the Arcadia Herald for making all of this possible."

Helen smiles shyly as the crowd applauds again. People begin to circulate, with many coming closer to examine the painting.

Adam is the first in a long line of people to compliment Helen. "Way to go, Mrs. G. Your work rocks."

"Thank you Adam."

"Great job, honey." Will says.

Kevin adds, "It really is wonderful, Mom."

Luke says, "I concur. A remarkable likeness, Mom."

"Thanks guys. Joan, do you have anything to say?"

"Considering the subject, you did as well as anyone could, Mom."

Will rebukes, "Joan!"

Ryan and his date approach. Joan spots him and walks away.

Ryan smiles. "I see I'm still Joan's favorite person. Will, do you remember Sheila Lebowitz?"

"I could hardly forget."

"With your indulgence, she would like a brief word with you."

Will hesitates, and then nods his agreement. He and Sheila step aside for a private talk...

"Chief Girardi, I just wanted to apologize for those awful rumors I brought up. I'm very sorry, and please rest assured, your wife will not be mentioned in my article."

"I'm grateful, of course, but what changed your mind?"

"Ryan...I mean Mr. Hunter, fully explained the situation. I realize it's all a lot of ugly gossip, and has no place in a legitimate news story."

"Thank you for that."

"If you will excuse me, I need to circulate--maybe get a few quotes for my story."

Sheila drifts away, and Will heads back to the others...

Ryan is saying, "Luke, I'm still looking forward to our day at the gun range."

"So am I, sir."

Helen says, "Oh Dad, could you step over here? Dad, this is our host, Ryan Hunter. Ryan, this is my father, Marcus Brodie."

"A pleasure, sir. Your daughter is very talented."

"I always thought so, but I never realized her work was in the five thousand dollar range."

Ryan points at the portrait. "The work speaks for itself... Oh, hello Will. Everything sorted out?"

"Everything is fine."

Will leans close and whispers in Ryan's ear, "How did you pull off that miracle?"

With a leering smile, Ryan whispers back, "The sacrifices one makes for one's friends."

The two men chuckle and bump shoulders.

Helen says, "What are you two whispering about? Oh, never mind. I recognize locker room talk when I see it."

Ryan laughs. "Caught in the act. I guess I better move on before I'm accused of corrupting a police officer. Enjoy yourselves everyone."

Ryan saunters away.

"Seems like a nice fellow." Marcus says.

Will nods. "One of the best."

A transition to the other side of the room to where Dylan and Joan are talking...

"I didn't realize you would be here, Dylan."

"A last minute decision. Uncle Ryan invited me days ago, but I wasn't going to come because Dad wasn't invited."

"What changed your mind?"

"Dad asked me to. He's using me to try to get back together with his brother."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Not at all. Dad's been completely upfront about it. Even Uncle Ryan knows. They're both such great guys. I'd love it if I could get them back together."

"Yeah, I tried that once with my Dad and his half-brother. It's not that easy."

"Dad said it would be a slow process, but I figure Uncle Ryan is worth the effort."

"You've formed a pretty high opinion of him in such a short time."

"Well, why not? Everyone likes him, and he practically runs this city. Besides, I make good first judgements. I liked you the first time we met."

"No you didn't. You yelled at me at our first meeting."

"Right...but, I still noticed how adorable you are."

Joan laughs. "Oh, go get us some punch before you make me blush."

Dylan smiles and walks towards the refreshments. Joan watches him with obvious affection, and doesn't notice that Ryan is now standing behind her.

"Stay away from my nephew."

Joan is startled. "Don't do that! And it's none of your business if I'm friends with Dylan."

"I won't let you use him to spy on me."

"All you have to do is call off the war, and I won't have to use him."

"Or you could retreat. Leave Arcadia and you will be spared a lot of pain."

"What do you mean?"

"There are casulties in every war, and every general regrets them."

"Why, what are you going to do, you..."

"Cream Puff?" A tray filled with pastries appears between them. It is held by Caterer God.

Ryan sneers at her. "You just can't keep your nose out of people's business, can you?"

"People are my business."

"Then you should either take better care of them, or butt out."

"I fulfill my part to perfection. If you have a complaint about the system--look to your own heart."

Dylan appears, carrying two cups of punch. "Now this is an interesting sight. My uncle, my girlfriend and a member of the catering staff in an obvious three way arguement. What's going on?"

Ryan replies, "Dylan, it's nothing. I had a minor complaint about this person's job performance."

Joan says, "And I thought she was doing a great job."

"Thank you, Miss. Sir, I'll give your criticism all the consideration it is due." Caterer God smiles like the pretty co-ed she seems to be and walks away.

Ryan mutters, "And I have guests to attend to."

Ryan leaves in the opposite direction. Joan watches with unconcealed distaste. Dylan hands her some punch.

"So, you and Uncle Ryan don't seem to get along."

"We grate on each other. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot."

"I thought the two of you met when he saved Adam's life."

"We did, and I was grateful, but things went down hill from there."

"Care to explain?"

"Could we just agree to disagree and move on?"

"I suppose. Move on to what?"

"Well, you just called me your girlfriend."

"So I did. Do you mind?"

Joan takes a quick look around to make sure they are unobserved, and then gives Dylan a quick kiss.

Another transition, time has passed and the party is nearly over. Ryan and Dylan are near the portrait, talking. The Girardis are near the door, putting on coats. Joan has finally gotten alone with Caterer God as she cleans up...

"Once again I'm cleaning up the mess people make."

"Is what Ryan said true?"

"What part?"

"That if I retreated, left Arcadia, it would spare a lot of pain and casulties?"

"Temporarily, but the war wouldn't be over. Eventually, when his plans here were fulfilled, he would track you down and resume hostilities."

"So the war goes on. And the casulties?"

"You want me to tell you there will be none on your side. I'm sorry Joan, but I can't guarantee that. Casulties are a fact of war, but a good general can minimize her losses."

"How?"

"Trust in me. Obey, and believe that love is the strongest force."

Helen, from across the room, "Joan, time to go."

"Coming!" (Softly...) "What's my first step?"

"When in doubt, put yourself in the other person's shoes."

Will calls out, "Joan, we'rer waiting."

Joan turns and huuries to join her family. Caterer God gives a backhand wave as she goes.

X X X X X

10-2-05/ early Sunday morning.

In the Girardi kitchen, Will and Marcus are dressed for golf. Kevin has on a dress shirt and tie. Helen hurriedly enters.

"Sorry I'm running late. Oh good, you've already made coffee. Are pancakes okay with everyone?"

Will replies, "None for us, honey. Marcus and I are headed for the golf course."

"Whoa. It's your turn to go with me to mass. When I was confirmed, the family agreed..."

"Was compelled to agree..."

"That at least one of you would go with me every Sunday."

Kevin says, "Relax, Mom. I'm taking Dad's turn."

Marcus adds, "And I'd be glad to go with you Helen, but how often do I get a chance to skunk my son-in-law at golf?"

"Hey, I've been practicing with Kevin almost every weekend. My game has improved."

"And I live in Florida and play every day. Care to make a small wager?"

Kevin laughs. "Illegal gambling scandal involving the chief of police. I can see the headline now."

"Which you would write brillantly. Kevin, have I told you how proud I am of all you've accomplished?"

"Only about a dozen times since you got here."

Joan enters noisily from the backstairs. "Good morning everyone. Happy birthday, Grandpa."

"Thank you, Joanie."

Joan spots Kevin eating a pop-tart. "Did you eat the last pop-tart?"

"Relax, there's another box in the cupboard."

Helen asks, "Joan, are you sure you don't want eggs or pancakes?"

"Mom, when do I ever?"

"Well, maybe Luke will want a decent breakfast."

"I doubt it. I checked on him, and he says he wants to sleep late. You know, for a guy who doesn't get much exercise, he sure sleeps a lot."

"Part of being a tennage boy." (To herself...) "I don't know why I bother buying so much food when all anyone eats for breakfast is pop-tarts."

Joan says, "Grandpa, I thought it over, and I've decided to take you up on your offer."

Will asks, "What offer is this?"

"Grandpa is pulling strings to get me into Arcadia College. The only catch is that I have to start out as pre-law."

Kevin guffaws. "Joan as a lawyer? Can the legal system survive this?"

Joan playfully smacks her brother's shoulder. "I might make a great lawyer."

"I can definitely see Joanie as a successful prosecutor." Marcus remarks.

Will says, "Now there's an idea. I arrest the bad guys..."

"And I put them away. It could be a new TV series, 'Law and Order: Girardi'."

Helen says, "Dad, this is a great idea. Arcadia College is reasonably priced, and we could save a lot of money on Joan's living expenses."

Will comments, "Ooh, I like the sound of that. Thank you, Marcus. I'm so grateful, I might go easy on you in golf."

"Already setting up his excuses. Let's hit the links."

Will and Marcus stand, preparing to leave.

Helen says, "Before everyone rushes off, remember Dad's birthday dinner is at seven."

Kevin asks, "Hey Mom, can we bring dates?"

Joan says, "Good idea, now that I offically have a boyfriend."

Helen responds, "I was just planning on family."

"But Lily has been out of town, and I missed getting together with her last night because of the unveiling party."

Marcus says, "What do you say, Helen? I met Joanie's friend last night, but I would also like to meet Kevin and Luke's girlfriends."

"In that case, sure. The more the merrier."

Everyone, smiling and laughing, begins to exit the kitchen. In moments, Helen is alone. She spots one last pop-tart and takes a bite out of it.

X X X X X

Downtown at the Herald, Ryan's office has been restored to its' normal impressive opulence. Ryan is by himself, talking on the phone...

"Good morning. I hope it isn't too early?" (Pause.) "I agree, the party was a great success. Any news to report?" (Pause.) "I see. Yes, you're doing great work, and I truly appreciate your efforts. I know how difficult this must be for you. But, we have a problem. I suspect she will try to turn Dylan against me." (Pause.) "Yes, I know he wasn't part of the original plan, but Dylan is the only family I have left that I still care about. If at all possible, I want him to follow in my footsteps. I know this is a lot to ask, but can you step up your surveillance?" (Pause.) "Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you, and trust me, all that I have promised, and more, will be yours. Enjoy your day, and I look forward to hearing from you soon."

Ryan hangs up the phone and smiles.

X X X X X

Later that morning, outside of St. Mary's church, Lily is seated on a stone bench, and Kevin is beside her.

"While Mom is still speaking with Father Ken, I wanted to ask, should we announce our engagement tonight?"

"That would be great, as long as there are no problems."

"What's wrong?"

"When I went to see my family, I had no idea how they would react to my return. It wouldn't have surprised me if they had slammed the door in my face."

"All this I know, and you said they welcomed you with open arms."

"It was like the return of the prodigal son, or in my case, daughter. Not only was I forgiven, but we were given an early wedding present."

Lily removes the check from her pocket and hands it to Kevin.

"What the hell? Fifty thousand dollars! Can your family afford gifts like this?"

"Yes, quite easily. They're very rich."

"Why would you keep this from me?"

"I didn't mean to. After being cut off from my family for so long, and being a nun, I just stopped thinking along those lines. When my folks handed me that check, I was just as surprised as you are now."

"I guess this means a lot to you."

"Not because of the money, but because of what it represents. I've been fully accepted back into the family. I'm once again Ralph and Vivian's eldest daughter, and not the black sheep they shun."

Kevin hands back the check. "Congratulations. If only being my wife meant as much."

"Hey, don't go there. Nothing is more important to me than our future together. Say the word, and I'll tear up this check."

Kevin pauses, searching Lily's face. He kisses her. "No, I'm not going to make you choose between your family and my pride. It's time I started being man enough to put my ego lower than the needs of...my family."

"You are going to be a great husband, and an awesome dad."

They kiss again.

X X X X X

That evening in their living room, the five Girardis have been joined by Marcus, Lily, Dylan and Grace. They are enjoying birthday cake after their dinner. Helen is going through a family photo album.

"Dad, do you remember this occasion?"

Marcus looks at the photo and nods. "Our 40th wedding anniversary."

Joan says, "I remember this. I was eight years old, and it was the first grown-up party I was allowed to attend."

Helen sniffles, "I'm just so sorry we weren't able to celebrate your 50th."

"Now Helen, don't bring the party down. Ann and I had forty nine wonderful years together. In the time since she's been gone, I've learned it's important to focus on the good things and the happy times of life. So saying, why don't each of our three young guests tell us something good or happy in their lives. Let's start with you, Grace."

Grace chuckles. "Wow, you people don't mind putting a guest on the spot, do you? Well, I guess Einstein here makes me happy." (She nudges Luke's shoulder.) "And thanks to his tutoring, I'm finally getting good grades, which makes my parents happy."

Marcus says, "An excellent answer. Dylan, you're next."

"Oh, okay. I think it's a good thing to have been included in this lovely party, and to have enjoyed such an excellent meal. Thank you Mrs. Girardi." (Everyone adds their agreement.) "As for happiness...well, when Dad and I moved to Arcadia, I was very unhappy. I thought my life was ruined." (He takes Joan's hand.) "Little did I know, the best was yet to come."

A couple of people make "Aww..." sounds, and Kevin briefly pretends to play a violin. He jokes, "That's so sweet...it almost makes me...augh, too sweet...gagging!"

Marcus says, "That's enough, Kevin. It was a wonderful answer."

Lily says, "I guess that leaves me." (To kevin...) "Now?"

"Now or never."

"Okay, the good and happy news--at least I hope you take it that way--is that Kevin and I are getting married."

The entire group errupts with joyous enthusiasm. There are handshakes and hugs, laughter and tears, and when everything calms down, everyone is left smiling.

Marcus says, "This is the best news I could have gotten on my birthday. Congratulations, you two."

Will asks, "Have you made any plans or set a date?"

Kevin shakes his head. "Not yet. We hadn't got beyond sharing the news with family."

"Which is what I was doing in New York last week." Lily adds.

Helen asks, "Lily, how did your family take the news?"

"You mean were they freaked out when I told them I was marrying a guy in a wheelchair? Not nearly as much as when I told them I waas no longer a nun." (Lily holds up a hand.) "Don't ask. I just never got around to it, but they took the news really well."

Kevin says, "You may as well show them how well."

"You sure?"

"We won't start off with secrets. It seems, much to my surprise, that I'm marrying into a family money. My future in-laws have sent along a token of their esteem."

Lily begins passing around the check.

Luke gasps, "Wow, that is a lot of zeroes."

Several others whistle when they see the amount.

Marcus says, "Wait a minute. Ralph Waters of Duncan, Waters and Finch?"

"You know him?" Will asks.

"I know of him. Ralph Waters heads one of the biggest investment firms on Wall Street. Kevin, you're not just marrying into money. This is lifestyle of the rich and famous."

Kevin responds, "Thus fulfilling my life long goal of becoming a gigilo."

Lily holds the check up to Kevin. "One more word, and I tear this up."

Kevin grins. "Sorry, I'll at least try to be mature about this."

Helen asks, "Is there a problem?"

Kevin replies, "No, I'm just having to adapt to these new circumstances without letting my ego get too bruised."

Joan says, "It's like that old TV show, 'Bewitched'. You're Darrin, and Lily has just revealed she has magic powers."

Kevin sighs. "Great, because Darrin Stephens is every guy's role model." (To Lily...) "Can you twitch your nose?"

Lily leans over and kisses Kevin long and hard.

"No, but I can do that."

"Huh, maybe being Darrin to your Samantha won't be so bad."

"Now you're talking, 'Darrin'."

Marcus says, "This has turned into such a special night, and I don't want to steal anyone's thunder, but I also have a special announcement. When I showed up on your doorstep yesterday, I had three goals in mind. First, was to spend my birthday with my family. Second, was to help Joan get into college..."

"I'm still keeping my options open in case I get accepted by any other colleges, Grandpa."

"Understood."

Will asks, "Marcus, the third wasn't to humiliate your son-in-law at golf, was it?"

"No, that was just icing on the cake."

Helen says, "Everyone stop interrupting. Go on, Dad."

"Well, when Anne passed away fifteen months ago, I was devastated. I spent a solid year mourning her, missing her and finding out I don't handle being alone very well. Three months ago some mutual friends set me up on a date with a lovely widow, Leona Parker..."

Helen is shocked. "This is your announcement? You're dating again?"

"Actually, the two of us have found that we get along so very well, we have decided to get married."

Luke says, "Grandpa, that's awesome!"

Helen snorts, "Are you crazy? This is terrible! Dad, how could you do this? A man your age marrying some woman he barely knows."

Will begins, "Helen..."

"No, I won't hear of this! How can you ruin this special night with this ridiculous news? Did you really think I wanted to hear how you're dishonoring Mom's memory with some young skank?"

"She's sixy-one!"

"Whatever. I don't want to know how you're bringing a different woman into my mother's bed. Assuming you haven't already!"

"That's about enough, young lady!"

"More than enough. I may not be able to stop this foolishness, but mark my words... If you go through with this, I'll have nothing more to do with you."

Helen looks around and sees all the horrified faces. She breaks into tears, leaves the living room and rushes up the stairs. Everyone sits silently stunned.

Will says, "Marcus, I'm so sorry. I'll talk with her and get her to calm down. I'm sure we can work this out."

Joan says, "Actually Dad, I think I'm the one who should talk with her."

"Why you?"

"Trust me, this is definitely a mother/daughter moment."

Will gratefully waves Joan towards the stairs. She exits while the others sit too embarassed to talk.

Meanwhile, in her bedroom, Helen is gently crying while looking at the photo of her parent's 40th wedding anniversary. Joan knocks twice and enters...

"Mom, are you okay?"

"If you've come to tell me I made a spectacle of myself, I'm well aware of that. If you're here to berate me for having embarassed you in front of your boyfriend, I'm sorry."

"Huh, actually, I hadn't thought of that. I assume Dylan, being the son of a psychiatrist, is use to, uh..."

"Crazy people?"

"You're not crazy. I totally understand your position."

"You do?"

"Sure, the first step is to put yourself in the other person's shoes. I know if anything ever happened to you, God forbid, and Dad remarried in a year or so, I would absolutely freak out."

"Then you do know how I feel."

"Of course. After all, you wouldn't want Dad to ever remarry, would you?"

"Well...I'm not sure."

"Because no matter how lonely he might be, and no matter how nice the lady might be, he should focus on honoring your memory for the rest of his life, right?"

Helen sighs, looks down and shakes her head. "Why do I suddenly feel like you are the parent and I am the child?"

"It's all a matter of perspective."

"Oh God, I made such a fool of myself in front of all of those people. How can I ever face them?"

"I say, don't. I'll go down, offer your apologies, and then politely tell them to get out. Then I'll send Grandpa up for a heart-to-heart talk."

"How did you get so smart and grown up?"

"I had a wonderful mother to show me the way."

They briefly hug before Joan exits.

X X X X X

10-3-05/Monday morning.

Outside the Girardi home, Helen and Marcus are at curbside next to a waiting taxi. The other Girardis are on the porch.

"Well, it's been a brief but exciting visit."

"Dad, I can't thank you enough for forgiving me."

"It helped that you forgave me for the worst possible way to make my little announcement. I promise to never spring something like that on you again."

"Then all is settled, and I plan to be at your wedding."

"New Year's Eve. The date will help me remember my new anniversary, and there are tax advantages."

"How romantic."

"Leona and I aren't kids. We know our marriage will be more about companionship than romance."

"Even so, every bride deserves those little romantic touches."

"I'll keep that in mind. See you in December."

"Bye Dad."

They hug and Marcus waves to the rest of the family, who wave back and call out: "Bye!" and "Goodbye Grandpa!" Marcus enters the cab and it quickly pulls away. Helen watches for a moment before going to her waiting family.

"Okay, I'm making a big, old-fashioned breakfast, and everyone is going to eat. And I don't want to hear one mention of pop-tarts!"

Wiil, Kevin and Luke turn and enter the house. Joan waits for Helen to join her on the porch. Arm-in-arm they head for the front door.

Joan says, "You know, they do contain seven essential vitamins and minerals."

"Jooaan..."

They enter the house. The door closes.

THE END. PLEASE REVIEW.


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